My Maid of Honor has been my best friend for 15 years. Whenever i bring up my wedding she changes the topic and doesnt seem very eager to help with anything, but I really need her help!! How should I deal with her?
How do you deal with a jealous MOH?
Sit down with her and have a frank discussion. Tell her that if she wants to serve as your MOH that you really need her help. Give her the choice. It sounds like she might back out. Should she insist that she wants to help but doesn't, gently let her go and find someone else. Once you have the discussion I think it will go one way or the other fairly quickly. The signs will be there one way or another.
Just got married last month. My MOH was very helpful. In fact, she asked for a list of what I wanted her to do and even did some extra stuff. I think it was from real simple or wedding knot, but I forget and I didn't keep a copy.
How do you deal with a jealous MOH?
What gave you the idea she's jealous? She could just be disinterested or overwhelmed.
If she is indeed jealous, I can't say that makes her much of a friend. A real good friend would be happy for you, not the least bit jealous.
You should talk to her to get to the root of the problem.
I'm having the very same problem! Except the Maid of Honour is my best friend AND 3 years older sister! I just keep trying to make sure she knows how I feel about it, how it upsets me, and at the same time, try my hardest to respect and understand why she's not taking much interest.
I want her to be crazy excited for me so so much, and I really could use her help too, but I just don't think it will be like that.
Just let it be, inside she is happy for you. It may just be if she is single it may be that she is wondering when it might be her turn. While, the wedding is exciting for you (as it should be), its not the top of the list for everyone (sorry). It could also be that while she's happy to be your bridesmaids, weddings aren't for everyone, perhaps all the little things are things that actually do not interest her. Ask her to do specific things for you and try going from there.
My MOH is a guy, and oddly enough I'm not overly girly. I think he's more excited about the wedding than I am (he's gay)..lol He's pretty much planned everything for me.
Well, I'm not sure how that points to jealousy, but I would just say to her, %26quot;I feel a little hurt by the fact that whenever I bring up the wedding, you don't really want to talk about it. It's an important moment for me, and although I may gush about it a lot, I just want to share it with my best friend%26quot;. Maybe she'll open up and tell you what's bugging her. Perhaps something is going on in her personal life.
Now that said, a LOT of brides tend to go on about their weddings constantly and unconsciously. It's a huge event for them, but they don't realize that life goes on despite the fact that they are getting married, and it is never going to be as important to others as it is to them. So, I think you should give your friend a break. You shouldn't be asking her to help with the wedding unless she offers it. That is your job and your fiance's job. Talk with her about dresses and bouquets, and if she offers one, your wedding shower, but you should also spend time with her on things that are non-wedding related. You can't let your friendships slide because you are a bride. If you allow this event to ruin your friendship (which will likely happen if you ask her to step down), you will certainly regret it.
Congratulations and good luck.
Maybe try asking her more about her life, what's going on with her? Is she in school, does she have a boyfriend? She might feel that all you do is talk about your wedding, which is very easy to do because it is so exciting, and its obviously necessary to talk about it because she is your maid of honor!
Only one way to find out for sure, talk to her and let her know that if she does not want to be the MOH you need to know now so you can get someone else. You cannot permit her to cause you any stress on this day.
Let me preface with this: You will not like this answer.
You need to find a new MOH. This is your wedding and it will be fun and stressful and chaotic at times... you need someone who has your back 110% and who is not only willing to help with wedding details, but joyfully helps as well.
I would give her another chance and tell her this: %26quot;Sue, to be honest, it doesn't seem like you're real wild about helping me with my wedding. This is a very important and stressful time for me and I need to know that you're happy for me and genuinely want to help. If not, it's ok, but I need to find someone who is.%26quot;
Maybe she'll change her tune. If not though... she needs to go. It's not fair to you or her to be in this situation.
