when I want to talk to some one i have to start it when someone calls me I have to start it I have to change the topic why can't they do it? they go hi then I go hi the they say nothing so I have to say something to keep it up. my dad says someone has to say something right? why do I have to be the First one to always say something?
Why do I always have to start the conversation?
You don't. Plain and simple. It is you who is more uncomfortable with the silence so this is why you start talking first.
How do I know this? Well, it is a tactic that is used in counselling (I am a therapist). It is socially awkward for silences to occur in conversation. Ergo, if you become comfortable with silences, the other person will fill in and start talking! Try it--nothing is going to happen in the silence--just a bit of discomfort and that's it! LOL
EDIT: Ok, so if you are comfortable with silence, then don't say anything and the other person will. Problem solved!
Why do I always have to start the conversation?
Most likely you're an outgoing, talkative person who can carry on a good conversation, so the people you know have gotten into the habit of allowing you to lead. As odd as as it may be, after saying %26quot;Hi, how are you?%26quot; I would hold my tongue and wait for them to lead. If you're silent long enough, I'll bet they'll start talking.
I know what you're saying. Sometimes people are just like that. On the other hand, if you build a good enough friendship, they might come out of their shell more freely and start talking more. Then you might have to tell them to shut up!
P.S. I'd be careful using the word 'always'. I doubt this is really the case (maybe 'frequently'), but this kind of thinking can lead you to be too headstrong and unaccepting of differences between you and other people.
I know exactly how you feel.It seems like no one really wants to be the one who keeps things going these days.Everyone wants the other person to be concerned and care for them but they don't really want to give it back.It sucks.
Are you uncomfortable with silence?
