i do not like to hv eye contact and i do not sit straight.also, i always change topic.
she may think that i am lying. yet, i am not...(she stared at me for 45 mins and spoke less than 10 words....she did not break the ice either...torture)
I do not like to have eye contact with my counsellor,why?
It's easier to open up about things without eye contact.
I had counselling many years ago and if I didn't have anything to say, rather han asking me questions, the counsellor would just sit and look at me in silence for ages! I think some are trained to just sit and wait for you to talk.
I do not like to have eye contact with my counsellor,why?
I don't blame you for not wanting to make eye contact, your counselor most likely doesn't want to much either. Changing the topic shows your avoiding the subject, if you don't get into details of the issue your counselor will be unable to give the tools you need to get help. She doesn't speak much because she is there to hear you speak not herself. You need to gain some trust and confidence in your counselor. Everything is confidential and I grantee that counselors have heard it all. You'll be wasting your time but not speaking about what bothers you. I don't know why your there but it is beneficial if you let it be. But, in the end the only real way you can change and fix your problems is by learning and wanting too.
It sounds like you are uncomfortable with them and maybe they are being too intense. I thought seeing a counsellor was a means of working through things rather than creating more problems. I would find another one.
Lack of eye contact means lack of confidence.
She's observing your reactions and waiting for you to open up or explode or something. Either way she's getting paid good money so what does she care.
they do say that the eyes are the gateway to the soul. maybe your just not ready to open up properly yet.
initially she is there to listen, so she will let you do all the talking. she can not help you if you do not talk to her.
There is an awful lot of charlatans doing counselling.
It is normal for women of a %26quot;certain age%26quot; to do councelling, it is part of middle class womens mid life crisis. They start councelling training and wear leather trousers. She probably an assh*le, there are a lot of them about in that profession. See another one and do not explain to the one you have now why you are leaving
you have a lousy counsellor
i did a basic course and from what you have written she is breaking all the rules of counselling
ask for another
I don't think eye contact is essential. When I was getting divorced the best conversation I ever had with my ex took place with a great big pot of flowers right between us, so neither of us could see the other one's face. We got a lot done that day.
You don't say whether you've chosen to have this counselling, but you sound unwilling - you don't feel she's on your side yet. You feel threatened and she doesn't know how to get you talking. If you don't want to be there, start by telling her that. If there's a specific issue that you do want to deal with, tell her what it is. Maybe all she needs is a starting point.
Best of luck, I'm sure you will get there
because she's invading your psyche and emotions...the only things you can truly hide.
A lot of people have a problem with eye contact. I know I do. It makes things kind of awkward and uncomfortable. Maybe try to look her in the eyes a little bit. Or just flat out tell her you don't like looking her in the eyes.
Ah, body language. It seems simple to me. She's dominating you by staring, and you don't like her. You are trying to get away from her. Sounds like the Spanish Inquisition! Try a little humor, call her Torquemada! Please look up the reference before you use it.
She wanted you to try it.
You don't have a connection with her and for some reason you are holding back if you want results open up or get another counselor. You feel uncomfortable for some reason with her and only you know why, you need to relax and let the theropy work wheather its witrhher or another Good luck
You probably dont feel at ease with her, dont trust her, and unfortunately counsellors rarely break the ice or give away anything. Its a tactic to make you start doing these things. Dont worry though, just you say what you want to say. And if you feel she thinks youre lying, talk to her about it.
I know what you mean but it will take time for you to get to know this counsellor, and no they are not allowed to discuss there cases so don't worry she is trying to let you know she cares giving you eye contact, tell her if this bothers you let her know she also is getting used to you, but you are there for you so you too can stay quiet as well don't pay games with he tell her you feel uncomfortable keep going you will look forward to seeing her after a few sessions. GOOD LUCK DONT GIVE UP
she doesn't need to she can tell if you are lying,but you say you are not so maybe she can tell that you do not want to open up and tell her your problems so she sits there quietly waiting to see if you want to tell her anything...remember..she cannot make you talk,you have to give her information of your own free will
